RELATIONSHIPS, HAPPINESS, AND ONE MORE POLITICAL OBSERVATION
Hello again Dear Friends,
The subject of relationships is ever present for me whether speaking with friends, family, organizations or business groups. Clearly the ability to develop lasting, beneficial, happy and profitable (when applicable) relationships are a wonderful attribute and one in which we all can use some assistance.
My favorite and most consistent piece of relationship advice is to individually take total personal responsibility for the success of any relationship. This always begins by focusing on the most positive traits of another. Everyone has personal characteristics which we like and dislike and simply by choosing to focus on another’s best features we are usually able to at least initially establish a good positive comfortable relationship. It does take specific discipline to consciously ignore another’s annoying features and I know that sometimes things just do not work out.
Recently a coaching client of mine wanted to discuss a relationship regarding a long time friend. It seems someone he has been very close to over twenty years was suddenly becoming a source of irritation and unhappiness. This friend had grown very fearful, cynical, and negative on almost all aspects of life and felt compelled to regularly share his thoughts and feelings with my client.
My client has been diligently working on manifesting a life of personal peace and happiness and frankly wanted some advice and direction on how to handle his old friend in order not to be sucked into his negative field. Initially we discussed perhaps limiting the time of some of their interactions, and then some ways he might just change the topic of conversations to more pleasant and joyful areas. Unfortunately no matter what he tried his friend’s negativity was increasing as was my client’s lack of tolerance for the relationship.
After all suggestions failed, I was reminded of some of the best advice I had ever heard on the subject….. A few years ago as I was leaving a personal speaking engagement where we had covered relationships in depth, I was approached by an elderly gentleman with a great big smile. He looked me directly in the eye and asked, “Do you want to know why I continually wear this smile?” The primary reason, he went on, was that over the years he had learned how to ‘WEED HIS RELATIONSHIP GARDEN’. He explained, as we all know, that without removing the weeds a garden of any type could never flourish.
The fact is, that as difficult as it might be, especially with long term friendships, it may be time to severe the ties. I know this can be a painful realization, but it is one that may become necessary. I’ll put it more directly, what’s more important, your happiness and well being, or your relationship with your friend?
Please try and remember to practice and have an everyday awareness of Oneness. This is an understanding that EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY is connected by a common spiritual energetic thread and the glue holding it all together is LOVE and INTERGRITY. Embracing Oneness also entails the understanding and acceptance that within the concept of Universal Oneness we are still all different, unique and ever changing. The art of ALLOWANCE, allowing all others to be, is something we all need to practice.
One last political item to ponder as we are just days from the Presidential election….. Clearly we are once again a 50/50 divided nation which keeps our country from being able to initiate change even in the face of some very serious economic and social issues.
I recently asked myself if anyone actually benefits from this 50/50 standoff where nothing changes. Well, look at the big Banks, the big energy companies, the big defense industry companies, the big drug companies, and the big food companies, are they hurting or prospering? Do they benefit from the status quo where nothing changes? It sure appears that way. I believe we should all think about how our problems seem so clear, but solutions seem so far away, and who is perhaps pulling all the strings. Something to ponder!
The answers for us personally and for our planet are all within us if we will just reach inside and begin to listen. More than ever, it’s time to turn down the news, spend some time in nature, begin a practice of meditation, and just LISTEN!
I invite you to call on me anytime if I can be of assistance to you, your organization, or your business.
With love and appreciation,